I had surgery yesterday, by the way

Benjamin turned 6 months old yesterday!

And I had a throwback to the last time I saw the inside of a hospital. Six months ago, I entered the hospital at 1:30am, 8cm dilated, and got put into a flying wheelchair that delivered me to labor and delivery. Yesterday, I made breakfast for Lifa, sent him off to school, and kissed Chris and Benjamin goodbye before hopping into an Uber. I walked into the hospital at 9am, admitted myself, and was escorted to the surgical unit. It started to sink in when I was wearing a hospital gown and a very friendly anesthesiologist and surgeon were describing procedures to me…

I had surgery yesterday, by the way.

Nothing to fear! I had a very infected sebaceous cyst on my back. It’s nothing to worry about but had to be removed. I had an amazing anesthesia nap - spoken like a true mom! My doctor came in and told me he removed something “very gross” from my back and sent it off for testing- just to be safe. (Chris had already made me watch cyst removal videos on YouTube… I can’t even… DO NOT DO IT.) He prescribed pain medicine and an antibiotic that was breastfeeding-friendly, scheduled a follow-up appointment, and sent me on my way. I was home by 2:30, and my guys were waiting at the gate. We all (even the doctor) expected me to be sore, groggy and feel a lot of pain.

I felt amazing! (I really needed that nap.)

Dad and Benjamin Day!

I spent the afternoon and evening hanging out with Benjamin and Lifa while Chris got in some admin work Benjamin hadn’t let him get to during the day – and then some recovery rest! Lifa and his deep man-voice practiced singing Christian rap songs to me while Benjamin practiced sitting up. And I reveled in feeling good, having my health, and being back with the boys.

It’s almost ridiculous. I was only gone for the amount of time Lifa was in school. But still… I’d had an IV in my arm, a tube down my throat, and a giant sack of gross removed from my body. (I will not be including that photo in this blog. You’re welcome.) I’d been admitted into a hospital and medically sedated so that, no matter what, I couldn’t reach my family or baby - in a country where they’re my only people.

The infection was big, deep, (and supergross, by the way). I acted immediately when it showed up, but it took three weeks to do the doctor’s office shuffle and get into the operating room. I have a dangerously high pain tolerance. (Hence the flying wheelchair 6 months ago. It took me 7cm to figure out I was in labor.) When the cystic infection first showed up on my back, it hurt to take a deep breath. But then I was just able to carry on with life and ignore it, as long as I didn’t lean back or sleep on my back.

The baby is finally sleeping through the night, and I have been enjoying 6-7 hour stretches of sleep. For the past week, however, I’ve been telling Chris that I feel indescribably tired and rundown. I kept wondering what was wrong with me. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so bad all the time. That’s where the dangerously high pain tolerance comes in to play. I wasn’t factoring in the major infection my body was trying to fight for 3 straight weeks!

I took the pain medicine before bed last night, assuming I’d wake up very sore and in loads of pain. I have three layers of stitches and a large hole in my back, after all. Mr. Benjamin decided to start singing at 2am, and when I went to check on him, I realized I had no pain! I actually felt so good, I started planning a grocery list and thinking of 100 other things to do! Anybody else do that?

Today, I feel amazing! Like I could fly!

I have to sit with great posture, and my throat is sore from the tube. And I feel awesome.

I’m so thankful for health today. For family. For happy babies and strong bodies. And for no more infection.

A flower delivery from a friend today reminded me that my guys are not my only people in this country. Thank you, Bester family! We love you!

I have been thinking about it all day – while simultaneously cooking dinner at 8am and planning a budget with Chris, hosting a Help Club for Moms, and taking care of my sweet baby boy – I feel better than I’ve felt in weeks!

It’s that thing off my back…

The thing I’ve been able to ignore. That extra, growing, secretly consuming burden. The thing I didn’t want to look at because it was oozy and gross. Unknowingly, it was affecting me mentally, physically and emotionally. I was dragging, not realizing how much my body was fighting for my health.

It made me wonder how many other things there might be like this… any other metaphorical infections. In the tired, dark or lonely seasons, are there infected thought patterns, behaviors or relationships that I’m unknowingly letting steal joy or precious moments from me and my family?

I honestly can’t believe how great I feel today. I got that thing off my back!

I believe that plays out a lot more ways than physically. I’ll let the scar on my back remind me of the joy available when admit myself into the surgery – or submit myself to do work on my thoughts, heart, and physical or emotional health.

If you’ve got a thing on your back – get it off!