Birthday Reflections

I go to Honest Chocolate Cafe every year on my birthday. The darling courtyard in the middle of town holds a special place in my heart. It’s in walking distance to the lawyers offices we’ve frequented - physical spaces that symbolize years of pursuing justice and breakthrough. We always stopped by Honest Chocolate for a taste of chocolate-flavored redemption after a heavy legal appointment.

I had a baby shower there when I was pregnant with Benjamin. We were in the thick of our hardest season, without many substantial relationship. Still, we gathered. We ate chocolate. Another milestone marked.

I go back every year for my birthday. It’s my annual excuse for a celebratory all-chocolate meal. At first, it was just Chris and I. Eventually, I had women around me to celebrate with.

Yesterday, I turned 41. Chocolate for breakfast was on the calendar! I kissed my boys goodbye and hopped into a caravan of friendship. I cut my brownie into 6 pieces because I wanted everyone to taste it, and I marked the milestone.

My 40th year was one of painful pruning and unexpected plot twists. Because of those painful losses and unexpected changes, last year was also one of restoration, redemption, and the beginning of a new thing. There were moments of the last year where it felt like all was lost. The loneliness was louder than it had ever been. But now, as I look back, I see what remains as the dust of 40 settles: a deeper friendship with my husband, a more connected family unit, a clearer vision and more confident faith. I walk with more freedom, joy, discernment and confidence. I see authentic relationships birthing and hope arising.

I am walking into a new year with a few more wrinkles, a lot more wisdom, and exponentially more gratitude. Yesterday was, quite literally, a day of tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)

THIS is the good stuff.