We are working on a big Father’s Day project over here, so today’s post is going to be short, sweet and to the point. It’s officially winter in Cape Town, and that means evening fires! The whole family loves sitting around the fire. But my man knows that I also really, really love a good morning fire. He got out of bed at 4am today, told me to take my time, and started building a fire for me. I came out 20 minutes later to find him working up a sweat and creating my dream morning.

I recently told Lifa about the stages of Benjamin’s development he has to look forward to. “Wait until we hit the ‘WHYS!” Lifa shook his head and walked away while I recounted his own “WHY” phase, pounding out every “why” with a wooden spoon in my hand. I explained to Lifa how important the”whys” were and how amazing it is to watch a child’s world expand with just a question. (And how you’d do anything to lock yourself in the bathroom with dark chocolate and noise-canceling headphones to not hear the word “why” one.more.time.)

I’m putting everyone to bed at 8pm tonight. That’s in 25 minutes! Yay! Benjamin has been asleep since 7 because sleep training WORKED. He also had a very busy afternoon of playing rugby and Russian kick dancing in the front yard with Lifa. Super weird. I laughed uncontrollably.

**cover image from Dineplan- Andy’s Sushi Bar

We get it wrong OFTEN as parents. But I love weaving moments of silly celebrations and sushi into Lifa’s story. I hope he looks back on those moments and tell his children about the time his dad said he could have sushi for breakfast on Sunday morning.

I have no idea where this will go, how this will grow, but the vision I see is big, beautiful and transformative for generations to come. If you’ve got a bit of time, watch this week’s Thankful Thursday video and pray for moms in South Africa to be reached. If you don’t, pray for us on the go! We love you lots!!

Last night was one of those nights. I was up the WHOLE night, gripped with unexplainable panic. Sometimes those nights become beautiful nights of prayer. And some nights they are just long and painful becauseI can’t kick the claws of anxiety. I get frustrated with myself and start a vicious cycle of getting anxious about being anxious. Then sleep is impossible. It doesn’t happen often anymore, but last night was one of those disappointingly, long nights.

Yesterday was a low day in the Ladd house. The smallest crisis was that I planned the entire day around going to pick up an oven rack - sending measurements to the shop after getting my call dropped 38 times, locking boys in car parked right outside of the shop so they would stay virus-free, waiting in a social distancing line to get into shop, the whole thing - AND THE OVEN RACK WAS THE WRONG SIZE WHEN WE GOT HOME. We’ve lived one full year in this rental home with a very small oven with one rack. I often make dinner in shifts starting at 6am. Something has to be done. According to me. Nobody else’s life was affected that much by my crisis. Chris was on a run and then had a great meeting, and Lifa and Benjamin cackled in the car while listening to the third Lord of the Rings book. This actually has nothing to do with the rest of my story.

Last week I announced we were going offline for a week to update our website, but our website guy (Chris Ladd) is busy this week recording two sermons for online church. He’s SO GOOD! So we’re still here, bringing you fresh Ladd family news and hopefully some moments of encouragement along the way. Today I’m just going to give you a few updates. Tomorrow I’ll try to inspire you.

“What about me?” It’s my weakness. My personal poison. The selfish place that blinds me in the blink of an eye. I ask it when a reckless taxi cuts me off on the highway, while I’m meeting all the needs and never getting around to my own, when there are misunderstandings in marriage, and when I dare let myself think on the tangles of South Africa’s Department of Home Affairs.

Me; “If you could only have 2 kinds of drinks and 4 kinds of food for the rest of your life, what would they be?”

Me: “Water and coffee. Chicken, kale, oats and peanut butter,”

Lifa: “Water and bubble tea. Sushi, chimichanga, Mom’s BBQ pulled pork, and that cheesey sandwich thing we order.” (Pork, pineapple, cheese trammezini from a local restaurant.)

We harshly judged each other’s answers, and I informed him that he would be coming to me begging me for nutrition in less than two weeks.

Lockdown Level 3

Today South Africa’s lockdown conditions have shifted from Level 4 to Level 3. That means more businesses are able to open, WE GET TO EXERCISE ANYTIME WE WANT (from 6am - 6pm instead of 6am - 9am), and schools... Guys... schools.

We started yesterday with devastation. Today is the day Lifa was supposed to return to school.

Have you had one of those mornings where you CAN NOT GET OUT THE DOOR!?! It’s very cold and rainy here, and we are only allowed out of the house between 6-9am for exercise. Chris is making a hard-earned comeback from a hamstring injury and goes on a solo run every morning. I am in charge of the broken elbows and the toddler, plus all the essential items like rain gear, rice cakes, face masks, and locking down the house. I took this photo to represent one entire hour of very active preparation to leave the house for a 30-minute walk.

Here’s a firsthand interview with Lifa on the highs and lows of his quarantine experience.

Mom: Lifa, it’s been 76 days since you’ve been to school. How do you feel about that?

Lifa:I feel ready to go back to school. I feel like we haven’t been to school since time began... like, it’s been a long time. (With nervous smile) I feel kind of tired of... well, I’ll just say of being at home.

I didn’t know what to do with a newborn. I needed my mom. Lifa needed his mom. My body and my husband’s mental health were shutting down. I desperately sought refuge in God’s Word through the YouVersion Bible app - the easiest thing to hold onto while caring for a baby. I found incredible encouragement through a plan by the Help Club for Moms there and decided to do a little research on their website.

Suddenly, there was help! There were moms! There was hope! I didn’t know how much moms needed moms and people needed hope until I ran out - until I was stuck half a world away from my mom and didn’t know how to be the mom to the kids living at my house.

Today is a day that calls for giggles and chocolate! My mom spent approximately 12 people’s life savings’ to ship a package to South Africa during a global pandemic. Chris and I ordered dorky stationary stuff, I needed a chili powder restock, and Mom put the GoGo love in for the kids. That package also included the gift NaNa bought for Benjmain’s 1st Christmas and enough NaNa love to leave me cry-voiced and speechless for the whole day.

Ironic - and pitiful - truth: This weekend, I spent two full nights wide awake because I was worried about Lifa. (Broken elbow story here!) The ironic part about that is I was up hoping and praying we could keep him comfortable, meet his needs, and give him an extra boost of love and care while he recovers. But during the day, when the rest of the humans were awake, I was so exhausted that I didn’t want to prepare meals because I couldn’t bear the sound of any of them chewing. I’m not proud of this. I’m just being honest.

Literally... fast facts. Chris and I are fast-fans! The fasting we often choose is to consume zero calories for spiritual, mental, emotional and/or physical purposes for an extended period of time. I am just about to break a 3-day fast, but I wanted to sit down with you first and tell you about it.

Wet bicycle tires. Cycling with dogs on a leash. Oncoming car. Moment of panic. Squeezes front brakes by mistake.... Lifa went flying. Poor Lifa took a big, hard hit yesterday when he flew over his bicycle handlebars and fractured BOTH elbows.

Ladd men, secure your headphones. Mom’s going in. Pray for me!