🙌It's the Friday Call to Worship!🙌

My 7-year old son has been running to the door since he could walk - always trying to get outside or to school. This year, the cost of regular childhood delights became too high for his nervous system disability. He has been home with me for five months, requiring full-time care and unable to access education.

Recently, I contacted an au pair agency that works with special needs families. I imagined he could learn at home when he’s ready and expend his limited energy on what’s important to him - church, friendship, and sports. He could have the support I’m struggling to remain steady for, and I could have margin for myself, our family, and to develop our church’s disability ministry. There was a potential plan, and I took a deep, hopeful breath.

The very next day, my son said he wanted to go back to school. WHAT!?! I smiled warmly as we talked, hoping his super-senses couldn’t hear my heart palpitations or smell my fear. It’s so easy to slide back to square one of a burnout like his.

He had a great first day back at school! I spent that morning asking God to provide the best way forward - whether it’s school, continued healing, or learning at home. My son loved his day at school, and the cost was still very high. He had a very difficult night and has been unable to go back.

It’s hard to hold and impossible to plan for. But this is not unique to families with special needs. We all know “ready but not yet”, “getting better but not better”. We’ve all thought we knew the way, only to find out the way is to wait more… to endure another night. We’ve grappled with the co-existence of pressing on and letting go. But there is complete wholeness and freedom ahead for those grafted into eternity with Christ. Because of that, we can worship where we are. We can find Him and be found in our darkest valleys.

Listen to “Valley of Worship” by Seph Schlueter.